He Tu died.

What no one could have ever imagined, was that a person who had originally planned to live a carefree life would unexpectedly slip up because of a small bar of soap.

You are right, you didn't read it wrong, it's indeed a bar of soap. Why didn't anyone tell him that there was a slippery bar of soap on the floor?!

Completely unresponsive, he just farted directly. This kind of thing happening is truly an absolute despair.

"Welcome to the 'River Crab' system~" A bell rang in his head for a while.

System? What the hell...

How could he ever imagine that it was just his imagination? But to his surprise, a few seconds later, all the information about him appeared before his eyes. It not only included his gender and age, but also a whole bunch of things that ordinary people would know.

Is this the revolving lantern? To see everything I did before I die?

Call me Xiao Rouwan, yellow braised duck with rice, Mountain View Wang Wu, at least one, so hungry, not cute turtle with integrity, Black Mon Yan, Tuoba Dazhu, and there's a long list of sockpuppets behind them...

He originally found it quite familiar, but after careful consideration, his expression darkened...

These are not his aliases for writing adult-oriented content...

That's right, everyone has their own hobbies and talents. He Tu's hobby is writing erotic fiction, and it seems like his talent lies in that as well.

"Hello, Dada, I am System 'River Crab 101'," an excited voice resounded in his mind. Heto froze for a moment, as he usually didn't believe in things like this, but now that it had come to this...

"Just call me 101!" Actually, 101 was extremely, extremely, extremely excited. Although he was a member of the universe's anti-pornography and anti-illegal publications team, the truth was... he had a secret that he never wanted to mention to anyone. It was that he had absolutely no resistance to the erotic stories written by this host! (He wiped away the nosebleed that was about to drip onto the ground.)

"Um, are you really not kidding?" He Tu asked, "But I'm already dead... can I call you Little Crab?"

After spending several years in the military camp, he returned to find himself surprisingly uninterested in voluptuous figures.

The true weapon that can hit people is that dripping with sweat, with the Adam's apple rolling hormones.

However, he discovered that the users on the social networking site were mostly of poor quality, as they would eagerly present themselves in a provocative manner, desperately seeking attention. Their sycophantic behavior completely turned him off.

Ever since registering and posting articles on a certain horse-themed website, there was no stopping the momentum.

From then on, he began his career of writing to make money by producing explicit content...

"No no no no no need to call me Xiaoxie..." The system was both surprised and flattered. "Actually, I am the enforcement department of the universe. The main god ordered me to come here for a purpose..."

He Xiaoxie gloomily said, "It's about preventing any occurrence of romantic plot points in the world of your novel."

He Tu smiled and said, "That's interesting." Originally feeling bored, this task seemed to be a better way to pass the time than before.

After expressing once again his deep admiration for Dada, like an endless river of undulating love, Hexie comrade finally saw a beam of white light ahead, revealing the title of a book.

This book...

Cold sweat continued to pour down as He Tu realized that if he hadn't misremembered, this would be the only dual-gender book he had ever written.

Although I shamelessly and boldly write, the process of conceiving is truly unbearable.

What's good, actually, when it comes to a bizarre and absurd thing, he definitely won't be short of ideas to write about.

She blinked her eyes slightly, contemplating the options provided by the system.

"Have you read this book?"

"Yes or no."

He Tu still chose yes in the end, after all, he was determined to conduct a serious strategy, so it would be better to watch it again.

However, when it came to such a book that was almost all explicit and steamy scenes, He Tu still sorted out his thoughts.

This is a completely fictional history segment, but when I write it, I tend to lean towards chaotic times, with constant wars and fighting among nations.

The most powerful place among them is the location of the legitimate attackers. It is a prosperous area in Nanhui, and the background here is merely mentioned in passing, describing it as extremely abundant.

Of course, I must add that aphrodisiacs are the best-selling products here.

Merchants from all walks of life make a living by selling aphrodisiacs, but they themselves indulge in their own perverse interests, adding a bit of this to satisfy themselves.

Next is the custom in Nan Huai, where the emperor must marry a Shuang Er as his empress. Although in most novels, Shuang Er is portrayed as a highly detestable character, in this story of mine, Shuang Er is considered a rare treasure.

What does Shuang'er mean? Literally, it means someone who is both male and female, capable of being strong and giving birth.

To sum it up in three words, it's vulgar and tasteless. However, ironically, it is fragrant and delicious, with a strong aroma.

And the attacker in this book is quite formidable, with high status as well. They can handle everything smoothly, easily dominating the delicate and innocent lotus-like protagonist. Well, I have to admit, this book only has a bit of plot.

"Have you finished reading?"

"Yes/No."

After He Tu agreed, the system began to match the most suitable candidates.

"Darling." The River Crab Classmate, covered in pink bubbles, cautiously spoke up, "Do you have any requirements for the character?"

He Tu lightly raised an eyebrow and said, "Am I the one who decides this?"

"Of course not."

"Why bother asking me?"

"Darling, all you can do is pray that you didn't write the villain character too miserably..."

"Hmm? Is it related to the antagonist?"

Yes, in general, you will transmigrate into the antagonist’s body and then conquer the big boss and the small bosses.

"That's good to know. In fact, in my novels, even the antagonists have a chance at redemption." Fortunately, He Tu didn't portray them as too evil.

But the frustrating thing is, everything he writes is about loyal dog gong... For antagonists, isn't it a bit challenging to deal with a protagonist who always has a loyal dog by his side?

"After the completion of the strategy, you will leave this book in three days and enter the next book. So, it would be best if you don't fall in love with your protagonists, darling..."

"If I successfully conquer it, would it be a little irresponsible for me to just leave like that?"

"The premise is the successful guide, if not successful, naturally you can spend your life with him."

"Having successfully conquered and left, one would have to stay if the conquest failed. What a useless system..."

Before he finished speaking, a sudden burst of white light appeared ahead, followed by a very unpleasant and obscene sound ringing in his ears.