No matter how Xiao Ya scolds me, I can accept it; however, he called me disgusting... I've always been afraid, very afraid, that Xiao Ya won't be able to accept men, so I intentionally increased physical contact gradually, hoping he would grow accustomed to it. Unexpectedly, he still... finds it disgusting.

Xiao Ya, I have wholeheartedly liked you for eight years. How am I supposed to erase this feeling you have made in me?

Yang Xuan sniffed and hastily wiped away the tears on his face. "I'm sorry. It seems that someone else should replace me in this role. It's fine to use body doubles for the kissing scenes like we just did."

In the evening, after Yang Xuan returned to his own room, he looked through the window at Liu Yachen's room. He saw that the window was tightly shut, and even the always tied-up curtains had been lowered.

Xiao Ya had truly made up her mind...

"A Xuan, help me bring this bottle of moisturizer to Aunt Jing," Li Yiyi suddenly entered and said.

At this time, Aunt Jing is not at home, and only Xiaoya is there alone. "No, you give it to Aunt Jing yourself."

"Hmm? Brat, has your rebellious phase finally arrived? I told you to come, so hurry up and go, don't dawdle, hurry!" Li Yi raised an eyebrow, stepped forward, and grabbed Yang Xuan's ear.

Ah! Ouch! Let go! I'll go right away," Yang Xuan quickly picked up the lotion and ran.

Yang Xuan stood in front of Liu Yachen's door, rubbing his ears for several minutes before summoning the courage to knock. Shortly after, the door swung open, revealing a furious Liu Yachen standing before him.

Strangers as neighbors, strangers as neighbors... Yang Xuan pursed his lips and silently repeated these words in his heart several times. A thin layer of mist welled up in his slightly swollen eyes once again. He suppressed his choking feeling and stutteringly said, "Y-you... hello. My mom said to give this to Aunt Jing." After finishing his words, he handed the moisturizing cream to Liu Yachen.

Liu Yazhen ignored him completely and coldly took the moisturizer without even giving him a glance, then turned around and entered the room.

Although Xiao Ya finds me disgusting, but I really, really, really like him so much! I don't want to be unable to enter his room anymore, I don't want to be unable to walk side by side with him anymore, I don't want to be unable to touch him anymore, I don't want... to give up liking him.

As he kept thinking, Yang Xuan couldn't help but rush forward and embrace Liu Yachen tightly, holding onto his waist and burying his head on his shoulder. In a vulnerable tone, he said, "Xiao Ya, I'm sorry, I like you, I like you..."

Swindler, swindler... Liu Yachen's hand involuntarily clenched into a fist as he spoke in the coldest tone, "If you don't release your grip immediately and leave, I will move out of this city tomorrow."

Yang Xuan was shocked to the core, feeling as if his heart had been tightly clenched, causing him unbearable pain and leaving him gasping for breath.

He slowly withdrew his hand, choking back his tears, and whispered in Liu Yachen's ear, "From this moment on, as you wish, we will become... ordinary neighbors, so it's unnecessary for you to move away." Tears streamed down his face, dropping onto Liu Yachen's shoulder. After speaking, he turned around and left.

Only he knows how much effort it took for him to force himself to say these words. Even if he can't go back to the way things were, even if he can never chat or hold hands again, as long as he can secretly watch him, he will be content.

In the instant when Yang Xuan turned around, Liu Yachen could not help but shed tears uncontrollably. The tears that had fallen on his shoulders just moments ago instantly dissolved on his clothes, seeping into his skin and melding with the sorrow within him.

Yang Xuan, that guy actually started crying...

No matter how much he was hurt or how horribly he was scolded, he would never shed a single tear...

Since you're so reluctant to let me go, why did you kiss someone else?!

In the evening, Yang Xuan was dejectedly leaning on the balcony, lifting his gaze to the pitch-black night sky, his mind completely blank.

Suddenly, there was movement coming from the neighboring balcony. It turned out that Liu Yachen was hanging up the laundry.

Without turning his head, Liu Yachen could already feel a scorching gaze fixed on him from his right. He ignored it, deliberately avoiding any interaction.

In my heart, I kept reminding myself, but in the end, I couldn't help but turn my head and look over.

But when he turned his head and looked at Yang Xuan, Yang Xuan was motionlessly staring at the sky.

Is it just an illusion? Liu Yacheng shifted his gaze away and suddenly turned to look at Yang Xuan again. He was still looking at the sky.

Perhaps it's because my self-awareness is too strong... Liu Yachen inexplicably felt a sense of disappointment as she picked up the bucket and headed downstairs.

After Liu Yachen left, Yang Xuan redirected his gaze towards Liu Yachen's balcony. A profound sense of sadness filled his heart, and he wondered how long it would take for him to get used to this kind of melancholic feeling.

A few days later, it was New Year's Day.

"Ah Xuan, today is New Year's Day. To celebrate the new year, let's go eat barbecue!" Li Yi exclaimed excitedly.

As soon as he heard the word "meat," Yang Xuan naturally nodded repeatedly in excitement. It was only when he sat in the barbecue shop that he realized he would be dining with Liu Yachen and his mother.

"Why... are you eating with them?" Yang Xuan asked Li Yiyi quietly, with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

How lively it is with so many people! Let's celebrate the New Year's countdown and welcome the new year in this barbecue restaurant with our families." Li Yi said as she opened a beer bottle and toasted with Zhao Jing by tapping their bottles together.

"Why are you two so quiet today? Aren't you always chirping nonstop?" Zhao Jing asked confusedly.

Yang Xuan and Liu Yachen remained silent, quietly grilling strips of beef without offering any response.

"I'll go to the restroom first," Zhao Jing said.

"Ah, I'll go too." Li Yiyi also stood up and walked alongside Zhao Jing.

The atmosphere immediately grew awkwardly silent, so quiet that only the sound of sizzling barbecue could be heard.

"Ding—"

Yang Xuan's cellphone suddenly rang.

"Hello?" Yang Xuan promptly answered the phone call.

"Hey, Yang Xuan, we're planning to go to Waning Spirit Square for the countdown tonight. Are you coming?" Lin Xiahong asked.

If it was in the past, Yang Xuan would definitely refuse immediately. He quietly glanced at Liu Yachen and answered, "Sure, no problem. Where are you guys now? I'll come and join you. Well, I've already eaten. You, on the other hand, can start counting down, why release Kongming lanterns..."

Although Liu Yachen continued to bow his head and eat the roasted meat, he secretly perked up his ears to listen to Yang Xuan's conversation. Although he couldn't make out what the other person was saying clearly, he vaguely heard a female voice. Was it that girl? Did she invite Yang Xuan to go on a date? Are they... already together?

He suddenly remembered that for the past eight years, every New Year's Eve, it was Yang Xuan who had been by his side. After each countdown, Yang Xuan would tightly hold his hand, looking at him with a gentle smile and saying, "Xiao Ya, in the new year, I will continue to work hard to protect you and make sure you are happy and joyful every day."

The current me... is not happy at all, not content at all...

After hanging up the phone, Yang Xuan ate a piece of bacon, put down his chopsticks, hesitated for a moment, and then said, "Xiao Ya, maybe you don't care, but I will go to the countdown to the new year with my classmates later."

The chopsticks, holding a piece of grilled meat, paused in mid-air, while the beef inside the mouth suddenly turned bitter and hard to swallow.